Riding your
bike on Kenyan roads does come with its fair share of annoyances. This is not meant to discourage anyone from cycling but rather enlighten them on the inherent challenges and how to deal with them as and when they arise.
From crazy/inconsiderate drivers to zombie-like pedestrians
to animals with a ‘dark sense of humour’. The things that can piss off cyclists
on a Kenyan road, on any given day during any given ride are numerous. The following are some of the
most notable ones.
1. Hooting
Why the hell do so many motorists like to hoot at cyclists
like they have just seen a demon from Hades? I totally understand a driver honking
at a cyclist whose movements on the road seem unsure, unpredictable and
reckless but hooting at a person simply because they are riding a bike and using
the same road you are is disrespectful and annoying. Cyclists have a
right to use public roads the same way motorists do as long as they adhere to
the rules. This is very clearly stated in our laws. Most roads in Kenya don’t
have cycling lanes so hooting and/or yelling at a cyclist to get off the road
is undoubtedly selfish and uncouth. In the words of people who use
‘alternative’ means of transport; ‘you own the car, not the road’. So share the
road.
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| Stop hooting! Source: http://www.monitor.co.ug/Business/Auto/Unnecessary-hooting-irks/688614-4541144-acp9m/index.html |
2. Abrupt stops
This is how it usually happens: there you are enjoying your
ride when a vehicle overtakes you and for whatever reason the driver decides to
stop it only a few meters in front of you. No prizes for guessing what the
outcome might be for the slow-to-react bike rider. On Kenyan roads, it is PSV
drivers who are known to have this behavior plus the occasional private car
owner. It all stems from an culture of general recklessness and impunity that has taken
root in the country.
Here is a question I would like to pose upon culprits of the
aforementioned asinine crime: how much time does one really save by pulling
this stunt? Wouldn’t it be more human for a driver to wait for the cyclist to pass
the point where they want to stop and then come to a stop without endangering
anyone’s well-being? But you know what they say about common sense right? It’s getting extremely rare with every
generation of human beings. I have to say this though; there are some drivers
who after committing this sin are very apologetic; so I guess that somewhat
gives me a little hope in humanity – just a little. Different people will deal
with this situation differently. My advice: make it known to the driver that
what they have done is absolutely unacceptable otherwise they will do the same
to another cyclist – maybe with a worse outcome. Curse words are acceptable for
the unapologetic driver.
3. Cat-walking
pedestrians
Have you ever come across a pedestrian who isn’t sure
whether they want to cross a road or not? And when they do decide to cross it,
they do so as if they are showcasing some high-end fashion on a catwalk in
Milan. It’s a crazy world I tell you! I am not exaggerating, this stuff happens
to the average cyclist quite often.
Even more annoying are pedestrians who cross the road while
texting or browsing or whatever else it is that people do while staring on their
phone screens. You know what I think; human beings are slowly losing their
innate sense of self-preservation i.e. that in-born instinct that enables us to
stay alive. How else would you explain such behavior? Is replying to a
WhatsApp message more important than getting to the other side of a busy road
safely? Seems the answer is not so obvious in this day and age. My way of
dealing with such individuals is probably not legal so I will refrain from
recommending it. So on this particular issue I have to say; “suum cuique” (to
each their own).
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| A dog-walker crosses the street during a UCI-sanctioned ITT Source: https://edition.cnn.com/2017/03/15/sport/peter-sagan-cycling-champion-dodges-dog-walker/index.html |
4. Motorbikes
I know I have talked about the infamous ‘nduthi’ riders and
their lunacy on Kenyan roads but I am going to touch on them again. As I said,
I have nothing against this group of fellows who are just out there trying to
make a living but at the end of the day, you’ve got to call a spade a spade.
Ever seen a motorbike come at you on the wrong side of the
road at full speed? Or hooting at pedestrians to get off a PEDESTRIAN walk? Happens
every day my friend and those guys feel entitled to do so. The most annoying
thing is that if you don’t comply they just might push you off the road or
worse still inside the road. Here’s another scenario that I am sure many
cyclists have faced: there you are coming down a descent at full speed then out
of nowhere this Nduthi dude decides to cross the road only a few meters in
front of you. Needless to say, it can turn really nasty really fast. Here
is my rule on how to deal with a suicidal/homicidal nduthi guy: you see one,
you create as much distance as possible.
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| Kenyan 'nduthi' riders are a special breed Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQZMGXZXLMM |
5. Groping bystanders
I used to hear about this but never thought it was that
serious until I went out on a ride with a lady. There are actually members of
the male species out there who will literally run after a female cyclist in an
attempt to touch certain parts of their anatomy. Here I was thinking that apes
only dwell in the wild. Actually wait, that’s a major insult to these intelligent creatures. Once
again my recommendation on how to deal with such characters is probably illegal
but it starts with ‘pepper’ and ends with ‘spray’.
6. Open doors and broken
teeth
Why would someone stop their car on the
side of a road and then proceed to open the door on the driver’s side without
bothering to check what’s coming from behind?! I know a few cyclists who have
suffered some considerable bodily harm and machine damage as a result of riding
straight into an open car door. It’s not pretty - All this because someone was
too absent-minded and inconsiderate, while using a PUBLIC road. Whenever
I see a driver pull up their car on the side of the road, right in front of me,
I will either slow down or move a few feet inside the road, if all is clear.
Anticipate, react, survive. It has worked for me so far.
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| Boom! Source: https://www.bikeaccidentattorneys.com/doored-bicycle-accident/ |
7. Unattended livestock
Ask any cyclist and they will probably tell you that they
have been involved in not one, but several incidents with some type of animal,
be it on the road or on a trail somewhere. Dogs and goats are the worst. A dog
will see you coming; ‘pretend’ to be minding its own business and then boom! It
will leap in front of your bike at the very last minute. I swear I am not
making this stuff up.
Don’t even get me started on goats and sheep. Their herd
mentality is what makes them such dangerous adversaries on the road. If you
ever see a flock of these guys on the side of the road and one decides to
cross, slow down or stop because the rest will follow the leader and you my
friend might end up being the laughing stock of that livestock.
8. Hit and run
Of all the things that piss off cyclists, this definitely
takes top spot. It is the hope of every cyclist that they never have to deal
with such a situation. It might not always be possible but whenever you can,
try and ride with a group or one other person. Doing so not only accords you
more respect on the road but also, in the event that something happens you can always
be sure that you will be well taken care off. A wristband that contains your
personal details and an emergency contact can also come in very handy. Contact the writer if you are interested in the same.
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| When car meets bike, it's never pretty Source: https://southafricatoday.net/south-africa-news/western-cape/cyclist-killed-in-an-apparent-hit-and-run-on-sir-lowrys-pass/ |
